Finding and Keeping your Balance

     I thought that because I was a great multi-tasker that I would be great at keeping a good balance in my life.  Boy was I wrong.  Before I became a stay at home mom, I was a 911 Emergency Service Dispatcher.  Talk about the ultimate in multi-tasking.  We had to answer all 911 calls and then dispatch according to the type of emergency, whether it was police, fire or medical.  Then, you had to talk to the officers, firemen, and paramedics while answering other calls and giving instructions in CPR, childbirth, or even just giving directions (yes, people actually call 911 for directions!).  Sometimes calls were easy to handle, like someone who hit a deer with their car and just needed to make an accident report.  Other times, they were extremely hard, like helping calm and instruct a mother who had just found her child had attempted suicide.

When my husband and I decided that I would be a permanent stay at home mom, I thought it would be easy compared to the career I just left, and in some ways it was.  I didn’t have the job stress that comes along with a career as an Emergency Dispatcher and I was blessed with babies that really liked to sleep in.  But finding balance at home was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be.  I wanted to read or just have some quiet “me time” but my kids wanted to play.  I needed to get housework done and dinner cooked, but it was beautiful outside and I wanted the kids to play in the backyard.  I really needed to find my balance, and quickly.  What I learned was that sometimes the laundry can wait.  The floors don’t have to be mopped every day and gourmet meals are not required every night.

     Once I started to put chores like this into their proper category of importance, I actually found I had more time to do the things I wanted to do as well as needed to do.  I wasn’t stressing over every little thing and I was okay with leaving a basket of laundry unfolded (check out my article on Discipline to see what happens to baskets of laundry in my house!).

     Now that my kids are getting older and do not require my constant attention, it is a little easier to keep a good balance between chores, kids and me time.  I have always enjoyed writing and have finally started to pursue that as my second career.  I don’t always get the balance right, but my God helps to keep me on track.  I spend time talking to God every day, even if it is just while I’m doing dishes.  It makes me feel closer to God and gives him the opportunity to help me keep that perfect balance.

Spring Cleaning for the Spirit

     Have you ever worked with someone who didn’t bathe on a regular basis?  It is not a very pleasant experience, and believe me, I know!  Keeping ourselves clean is important to staying healthy.  We all know this.  But it is not just the physical clean that we need to be concerned with.  Having a clean, pure spirit is more important to a longer life than having a clean exterior.  In fact, it’s the only way to live forever.

     It was a long time ago when I decided to accept that God had sent his son to earth to die for all my sins, but I still remember the prayer that my pastor asked me to repeat: “Dear God, I know I am a sinner and I cannot save myself.  I believe you sent your son to die on the cross to save me from my sins.  Please come into my life and make me clean.”  Now, I didn’t pray this so that God could make me physically clean.  I was a teenage girl, so I spent a very long time in the shower everyday, just ask my mom!  I prayed this prayer so that God could clean my spirit and make me feel good on the inside.  That’s what God does.  He makes us feel good on the inside and then we tend to take better care of the outside when the inside feels better.  There is a book in the bible called 1 John.  In chapter 1 verse 9 it says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (NIV).  All we have to do is ask God for forgiveness and we are cleansed.  If you feel like you need a little spring-cleaning of the soul, God can make it sparkle.  It’s kind of like cleaning all the dust off the trim around your house.  No one really notices it but you, but it feels so good to have it clean!

     If you are all ready a Christian I learned something just the other day that you might enjoy hearing.  I was listening to a psychiatrist who came to speak at my local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group.  He said that Christians have the healthiest lifestyle.  It only took me a few minutes to figure out why.  We strive to seek God in everything we do.  In the book of the bible called Hebrews there is a verse that describes this perfectly.  It is in chapter 10 and it’s verse 22.  It says, “Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience….”.  We try to get close to God as much as we can and he keeps us cleansed from all the stuff the world dumps on us.  I know it is hard to remember to let go of the worldly things and let God clean up our guilty conscience but if we want a clean spirit we have to ask him for forgiveness and get close to him on a regular basis.  When ever I have a troubled conscience or get stressed out and worried about the little things as we so often do, I think of sending all my troubles up to God in a little tube, like the ones at the bank.  This may seem silly but it works for me.  When that tube comes back it is full of nothing but Gods love and understanding (although I wouldn’t mind that occasional Dum Dum sucker!!).

Oh, that sneaky Devil!

If you were to ask anyone who is doing God's work about how they started, and the trials they went through, I bet you would hear a common theme.  They would probably say it was difficult and full of trials, but they stuck with it and have persevered.  As soon as you decide to do God's work, the Devil will starting doing his best to try to interfere.  As soon as you let God's will for your life take over, the Devil will step in and start to shake things up.  He doesn't want us to succeed because that means that he fails.  James 4:7 tells us to "Submit yourselves, then to God.  Resist the Devil and he will flee from you."  First we must submit to what God's will for our life is.  Then watch out because the Devil will sneak in and try to screw things up.  But the Lord tells us that if we resist him he will flee.

When I first decided to write this blog, I didn't know if anyone would even read it but I felt it was what God wanted me to do.  I started writing this blog, as you can see, last Wednesday.  On Thursday I was overcome by a sense of depression and wondered if I should even write anything else.  I prayed that God would guide me and the depression was replaced by my original sense that I was doing God's will.  On Friday, my computer was infected with this annoying virus called Internet Security 2010.  What a scam.  If this pops up on your computer it is not real!!  Don't send them any money.  If you do an internet search you will be able to remove it but it is a pain.  It took my husband two days to get the virus off our computer so we could use it again.  The Devil was definitely at work trying to make my writing of this blog difficult.  The weekend went well and so did the beginning of this week.  Then yesterday, for no apparent reason, the outlet that my computer is plugged into died.  After 10 years of using this outlet for various things, it all the sudden just quit working.  Hmmmm..............coincidence?, I don't think so.  I think the Devil is doing his best to try to make this blog difficult for me but so far I have been able to resist him and I will continue to resist him until he tucks in his pointy tail and runs for it.  If you are pursuing God's will for your life, plan on the Devil interfering.  He will do his best to make it hard for you.  But there is hope.  God tells us that if we resist, he will flee from us.  So, do as Ephesians 6:11 says and "Put on the full armor of God so you can take your stand against the Devil's schemes."  Then keep up the good work and the Devil will run for the hills!  Good luck and God Bless.

Beat Depression with a Bible and a Broom

 When your feeling down and blue,

here is something you can do.

Just grab a broom, vaccum, or mop,

and you will find the depression stops

  This post comes as a result of my laziness.  When afternoon rolled around and I still hadn't taken a shower and wasn't dressed and I had nothing to show for my morning of laziness except that my kids were dressed and fed, I started to feel depressed.  Very depressed.  I have a bad habit of not being motivated sometimes.  I am a stay at home mom so I don't have to get up, get dressed and go to work anymore.  Don't get me wrong, I love being a stay at home mom.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  But that doesn't mean I have to sit around and be lazy.  The lazier I am, the more depressed I become.  I have only myself to blame.  I know that on days when I get up and get motivated early I feel much better.  If you are a stay at home mom like me and you have days that sound like this, then maybe this advice will help you.
  The bible tells us, in Ecclesiastes 10:18, "If a man is lazy, the rafters sag, if his hands are idle, the house leaks."  I think this is great motivation for getting things done.  The lazier we are, the more our house falls apart.  Literally and figuratively.  As moms, we are the glue that holds our households together.  If we start to get to lazy and depressed, things start to fall apart.  My advice to you is this:  If you are depressed, first look to God.  There is nothing he can't get you through.  All you have to do is ask.  I have been spending more and more time with God lately and I have to say, it has made a huge improvement in every aspect of my life.  My marriage is better and I yell at my kids less.  I have very few days (not including today!) where I feel depressed.  I keep myself in touch with God and he gives me everything I need.  The second thing I advise is to pick up a broom.  There is nothing more satisfying to me than seeing my house clean.  Just doing one or two chores is enough to lift my depression.  It means there is that much less to do tomorrow.  Also remind yourselves that there is always going to be laundry and dishes to do so it's okay if they are not always caught up.  Happy praying and scrubbing!!     

Discipline: A Do and A Don't

     If there is one thing I’ve learned about discipline as a mom, it is that no one disciplinary action will work for both of my children.  This is very common as there are no two children that are exactly alike.  When we discipline our children we need to keep in mind that child’s personality in order to come up with effective discipline.  I didn’t want to make this post about different types of disciplinary actions for just that reason so instead I wanted to focus on two ideas that helped me to come up with some effective disciplinary actions.

     The first thing I want to talk about is my discipline do.  DO be realistic with your disciplinary action.  Sometimes when I get really frustrated with my kids I will throw out some crazy idea that is just not realistic because I am so exasperated with my them.  To give you an example, just recently we were trying to get ready to go to a birthday party and my son was being very stubborn (just like his mom!).  He wouldn’t cooperate with his father and I.  I finally just yelled at him that he wasn’t going to get any birthday cake at the party if he didn’t straighten up.  My husband gave me a funny look and told me to be realistic, we weren’t going to take a 3 year old to a 2 year olds birthday party and not give him any cake.  He was right.  I knew when I said it that I wasn’t going to enforce it.  I was just so frustrated with him that I didn’t think before I spoke.  This is what I mean by being realistic.  If we throw out crazy things like “no birthday cake” or “I’m going to throw that $100 toy in the garbage if you don’t behave” we need to be prepared to follow through or our children are going to learn that we aren’t serious. 

     We need to be serious with our discipline, even if it hurts our children.  Now when I say hurt, I don’t mean physically, although a good swat on the behind always got my attention when I was little!  What I mean is that discipline can be hard for us to follow through with because we don’t want our children to be upset with us or to be left out, but they will respect us more in the long run if we are serious and consistent.  Job 5:17-18 says, “Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.  For he wounds but he also binds up, he injures but his hands also heal.”  In the same way that God’s disciplines can sometimes be hard for us and can hurt us, our discipline can be hard and hurtful for our children.  Keep this verse in mind when you are disciplining your child (or children).  It may hurt, but they will be better for it in the long run.

     Now for my discipline don’t.  DON’T create the need for discipline.  I have many times found myself disciplining my children for something that could have been avoided if I had thought a little ahead.  If you have a very curious child and you leave something out that you know they are going to get into, this is creating the need for discipline.  I have a terrible habit of leaving a basket of folded laundry in my child’s reach.  I have done it many times and I still haven’t quit.  I would get upset with my children for tipping over that basket of laundry when it would have been much easier to just put it away.  Think about this when you are disciplining your children.  Are there some things that you have done that created the need for discipline?  This goes back to remembering your child’s personality when you discipline.  If you have a very curious or very active child, putting things up out of their reach can help lessen the need for discipline.  Most of us are familiar with the Ephesians 6:1 that says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”  If you read on to Ephesians 6:4 it says, “Fathers, don’t exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”  We all want to encourage our children because it helps them to develop, but they can become confused and exasperated if we encourage a curious behavior one time and then discipline them for it the next. Please keep in mind that I don’t mean our children shouldn’t respect our belongings.  I think teaching our children to respect our things is very important but when it comes to some things (like my laundry basket!) it can result in a frustrated child when we discipline them for being themselves.

     I hope these two ideas about discipline will help you as much as they have helped me.  The more I keep these things in mind the happier my household is.  There is less yelling and more smiling!

The Bible and the Bedroom

How, as women, are we supposed to be in the mood when we have dealt with frustrating children, housework, errands, laundry, dinner, and sometimes a job away from the home?  My husband gave me a bit of advice on this.  He says you have to decide to be in the mood before bedtime (or whenever!).  This is really tough.  We have stressful days and sometimes we just want to be left alone or we just want to rant and rave about how bad our day was.  This is where we have to stop and think.



  If we get our selves worked up over our day and then let loose on our husbands when they walk in the door, that is going to set a mood for the evening and its not going to be the mood.  Those of us that are stay at home moms have to remember that our husbands may have had a stressful day too.  We have to decide to try to let the frustrating things go and maybe tell our husbands something funny that the kids did or just give them a kiss and a hug and tell them you missed them while they were at work.  That kind of reception would definitely set a better mood.  I know I am really bad about letting go on my husband when he gets home, so I decided to wear a reminder bracelet.  Whenever I see it or feel it there on my wrist it will remind me of the kind of wife and mother I want to be and the kind of mood I want to be in, and I don’t just mean intimacy.  If I let the little things get to me all day long, I am not being the kind of woman that God wants me to be or that I want to be.  1 Corinthians Chapter 7 talks about marriage.  Verses 4 and 5 tell us that our bodies belong to each other and not to deprive each other (meaning husbands and wives), except by mutual consent, of our bodies so that Satan cannot tempt us.  God’s command is for husbands and wives to be together, as one, physically.  Yes, that right ladies, God wants us to have sex with our husbands and he wants us to do it frequently so that Satan can't squeeze himself in between our sheets.  He thinks it is so important that he put that command right at the beginning of the Bible.  Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  We need to make this act as important as God wants it to be in our marriage.  Many of you may be familiar with the Book of the Bible, Song of Songs (or Song of Solomon depending on your version).  I will not quote it here because there is too much and it is can be considered explicit, but if you haven’t read it (or haven’t read it in a while) sit down with your husband and read it.  If there is anything in the Bible that might help to get you in the mood, this is it.  Happy reading!!