If there is one thing I’ve learned about discipline as a mom, it is that no one disciplinary action will work for both of my children. This is very common as there are no two children that are exactly alike. When we discipline our children we need to keep in mind that child’s personality in order to come up with effective discipline. I didn’t want to make this post about different types of disciplinary actions for just that reason so instead I wanted to focus on two ideas that helped me to come up with some effective disciplinary actions.
The first thing I want to talk about is my discipline do. DO be realistic with your disciplinary action. Sometimes when I get really frustrated with my kids I will throw out some crazy idea that is just not realistic because I am so exasperated with my them. To give you an example, just recently we were trying to get ready to go to a birthday party and my son was being very stubborn (just like his mom!). He wouldn’t cooperate with his father and I. I finally just yelled at him that he wasn’t going to get any birthday cake at the party if he didn’t straighten up. My husband gave me a funny look and told me to be realistic, we weren’t going to take a 3 year old to a 2 year olds birthday party and not give him any cake. He was right. I knew when I said it that I wasn’t going to enforce it. I was just so frustrated with him that I didn’t think before I spoke. This is what I mean by being realistic. If we throw out crazy things like “no birthday cake” or “I’m going to throw that $100 toy in the garbage if you don’t behave” we need to be prepared to follow through or our children are going to learn that we aren’t serious.
We need to be serious with our discipline, even if it hurts our children. Now when I say hurt, I don’t mean physically, although a good swat on the behind always got my attention when I was little! What I mean is that discipline can be hard for us to follow through with because we don’t want our children to be upset with us or to be left out, but they will respect us more in the long run if we are serious and consistent. Job 5:17-18 says, “Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds but he also binds up, he injures but his hands also heal.” In the same way that God’s disciplines can sometimes be hard for us and can hurt us, our discipline can be hard and hurtful for our children. Keep this verse in mind when you are disciplining your child (or children). It may hurt, but they will be better for it in the long run.
Now for my discipline don’t. DON’T create the need for discipline. I have many times found myself disciplining my children for something that could have been avoided if I had thought a little ahead. If you have a very curious child and you leave something out that you know they are going to get into, this is creating the need for discipline. I have a terrible habit of leaving a basket of folded laundry in my child’s reach. I have done it many times and I still haven’t quit. I would get upset with my children for tipping over that basket of laundry when it would have been much easier to just put it away. Think about this when you are disciplining your children. Are there some things that you have done that created the need for discipline? This goes back to remembering your child’s personality when you discipline. If you have a very curious or very active child, putting things up out of their reach can help lessen the need for discipline. Most of us are familiar with the Ephesians 6:1 that says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” If you read on to Ephesians 6:4 it says, “Fathers, don’t exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” We all want to encourage our children because it helps them to develop, but they can become confused and exasperated if we encourage a curious behavior one time and then discipline them for it the next. Please keep in mind that I don’t mean our children shouldn’t respect our belongings. I think teaching our children to respect our things is very important but when it comes to some things (like my laundry basket!) it can result in a frustrated child when we discipline them for being themselves.
I hope these two ideas about discipline will help you as much as they have helped me. The more I keep these things in mind the happier my household is. There is less yelling and more smiling!
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